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[heirlift]

text voice video action	fresh.heir
John Egbert	Homestuck
role	Familiar
residence	Leshy
info ○ permissions ○ housing ○ familiar ○ overflow ○ opt-out

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Comments

[kyley_b]

hey, no kinkshaming yourself!

what do you mean?

cw drug ment

[heirlift]

uh oh i think kinkshaming is also my kink! :B

oh the uh. the trickster thing. it's because i ate some candy from home. i knew better than to tempt fate, i should have found a volcano to throw the damn things in.

it's sort of like getting drunk but the alcohol is on steroids and also acid. it's not great...

[kyley_b]

lol

oh well that's not your fault entirely. you couldn't have predicted it would make you susceptible to horny vampires.

sollux knows. he's not mad at you, tho.

[heirlift]

i knew it could get me in trouble. but whatever! we all kind of fucked up.

and... okay i guess? i don't know what he has to do with it. i'd really appreciate if you could just. not tell anyone else about it though?

[ He still doesn't know. ]

[kyley_b]

me most of all. i am really sorry. still friends?

oh he's my boyfriend.
or was.
i don't really know where we stand right now. we talked after he disintegrated me but i'm definitely not forgiven.

but no i won't tell anyone now. that can stay between me and you.

[heirlift]

oh. uh. ok. yeah we can be friends...

sorry do you mean like <3 boyfriends? or <3< boyfriends?

[kyley_b]

good. you're important to me, dude.

john wtf does that mean?

[heirlift]

how can you date a troll and not know the whole quadrants thing? he probably didn't explain, did he? ugh where is karkat when you really need him!!!!!!!!

i'm sorry you got disintegrated(?) and maybe dumped but you should ask him about it. i'm not a troll so it feels wrong for me to even try. maybe he'll even hate you the right way to be your hate-boyfriend instead or something?

[kyley_b]

ohhh that thing!
yeah i know the quadrants. sorry i didn't know <3< was a thing i thought it was code for buttsex.

anyway it was <3 but then i guess biting people caused black romance jealousy? cos he really hated me which he didn't think he could, so basically i guess i crossed quadrants and that makes it worse and more confusing.

yeah dude being disintegrated sucks.

[heirlift]

no, it's a spade. like uhhhh

♠

conveniently, all their relationships correspond to what we use for card suits? <3 for normal relationships, <3< for hate dating, <> is i guess bffs but romantic but also no kissing, and I don't really get c3<, that one is weird.

ugh god what is it about this troll romance shit that makes you want to explain it! i'm not a troll, i don't date trolls! but whatever, now you know i guess? that's it, i'm banning myself from talking about stupid troll stuff!

let's talk about you. at least you got better? how are you holding up?

[kyley_b]

yeah i see that now.

right right the mediator role, that one sounds fucking thankless. i feel like that one makes more sense in communal societies. which we sort of are, here. huh.

you could date trolls if you wanted to, they're cool.

yeah, yeah i'm ok. mostly i just feel like a really bad person for how i treated people.

[heirlift]

[ He absolutely does not want to date a troll, but that is a topic for another time. ]

i don't think a bad person would come and apologize without any prompting. a bad person would laugh and tell people they were overreacting if they were upset. have you been doing that?

[kyley_b]

no, no of course not.

you're not pissed?

[heirlift]

no. i'm a little confused but that's pretty normal lately. but i'm not mad.

you're my friend, dude. you're not going to get rid of me that easy. :B

[kyley_b]

yeah, i understand that feeling.

ok, good. :)

[heirlift]

it seems to be pretty common here! but i'd rather write an essay about trollmance before i start talking about the stupid fox again soooo...

hey! at least you got to see me do one of my windy things! i don't get a chance to show that off much. that's fun, right?

[kyley_b]

not a fan, right.

i didn't even realise you could do that shit! you're like a superhero!

[heirlift]

i can do a lot more! though some of it's pretty destructive so i try not to do it too much.

did you think the god tier thing was just for show? i mean the costume is cool and all but it's way more than that!

[kyley_b]

i had no idea!

i guess i never really thought about it because you don't actually talk about it much. like dirk is always 'bro i'll wedgie your soul' and shit but you never really bring it up.

[heirlift]

yeah it's not really a thing that comes up in casual conversation. like, oh btw, i can turn into an untouchable breeze and also summon huge-ass tornadoes!

i'm also kind of used to everyone knowing... i think they teach kids in school about me and dirk and the rest of us, which is really weird to think about?

[kyley_b]

dude. so cool.

do they? not in my universe, sorry. but now i can claim i knew you guys if i ever wind up in your world.

[heirlift]

well yeah. if i even exist in your universe, i'm still just a normal dude there. doing really normal dude stuff.

i didn't do any of the history book stuff until after the earth was destroyed the first time.

[kyley_b]

you're still a pretty normal dude, dude.

riiiiight. and then you're like, a god, alongside some screaming trolls, and dirk is still a hot asshole.

[heirlift]

you know what i mean though! i'd probably have a dumb boring office job and a briefcase and a whole closet full of pressed white shirts and a bajillion ties!

[ Just like his dad... ]

god... if you think dirk is a hot asshole, i hope you can meet his ecto-siblings someday. they're all hot! all of them! it's super unfair.

[kyley_b]

lol maybe. or maybe you'd still be cool.

i absolutely think that. oh right, he has family sorta. and you were friends?